5 Blonde Jokes

sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast.

At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"

Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They're knocked over, but continue to ask.

"So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"

"I lied about my age", Bob replies.

"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

 

that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question."

"I object!" the defence said again.

"No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."

The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defence to object."

So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?"

The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know."

 

the man tells her that it is going to cost $300, she exclaims "I don't have that kind of money but i would do anything to get my message to my mother".

The man lifts an eyebrow "Anything?"

"Yes, anything!" she promises.

With that the man says "Follow me".

He leads her into the next room and closes the door.

Inside the man continues "Get on your knees", which she does...

"Undo my zipper", which she does

"Go ahead and take it out" which she does and in fact she holds it with both hands.

The man closes his eyes and whispers "Well, go ahead".

The blonde slowly moves it closer to her lips...closer and closer again until finally she says "Hello…..Mum?"

 

on, but was thrown off.

With her foot caught in the stirrup, she fell head first to the ground.

Her head continued to bounce on the ground as the horse did not stop or even slow down.

Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager came out and unplugged it.

Thank goodness for heroes.

vendors were asking for the highly prized shoes.

Frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the  shopkeepers, the blonde asserted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a decent price!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, y'all  just go ahead an' give it a try, why don'cha?"

The blonde turned on her heel and headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch herself an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee, where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.

With lightning speed, she takes aim, and kills the creature.

With a great deal of effort, she hauls it onto the slimy swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper stands on the bank and watches this scenario in amazed  silence.

Just then, the blonde struggles and flips the gator onto its back.

Then, rolling her eyes heaven-ward and screaming in utter frustration,  she bellows, "Damn, this one is barefoot too!"