2 Random Jokes

although it's happening a lot more, it doesn't really bother me Doc, because they're silent ones and they don't smell, in fact, I did about ten on the train coming here, and you wouldn't realize it Doc, but I've done three in the last couple of minutes, just since I've been here talking to you.

Doc:- Well, I want you to take these two lots of tablets... you better take twenty of each, starting right now.

Patient:- OK Doc, but why two different lots?

Doc:- The first ones will sort out your hearing problem and the others will unblock your nose.

slack here, being psychic only goes so far.

Customer: Okay, but this had better be worth the $2.95 a minute!

Support: Your computer problem?

Customer: My monitor won't come on. I just hooked up this new computer, and I heard Windows boot up, but I never saw anything on the screen.

Support: This one's easy. You haven't plugged the monitor's power cable in yet.

Customer: No, I've already checked all the cables, so it's got to be something else.

Support: Come on, who are you kidding? You haven't checked the power cable at all, have you?

Customer: Yes I have!

Support: You're lying, just like you lied to your wife about those panties she found in your briefcase.

Customer: You! How could . . . No!

Support: You lied and said they were yours. That you liked the way they felt! If you don't check that cable right this minute, I'm going to call your wife and tell her who was missing a pair of purple panties after the office Christmas party!

Customer: No, don't! You can't! I'll check, I'll check, just please don't tell my wife! (LONG PAUSE) Uh, well, you were right, it was the cable after all. I could have sworn it was plugged in. I wouldn't lie to you, you've got to believe me!

Support: Of course, of course. Say no more. Thank you for calling the Psychic Friends Computer Support Network, please stay on the line and one of our operators will speak to you about our blackmail payment plan.