- Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last
15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get
cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a
few minutes early. - Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre,
Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" - If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If
it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers
and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol. - Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at
the instructor's left nostril. - Talk the entire way through the exam. Read
questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself
out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure
you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about
what a jerk the instructor is. - Bring cheerleaders.
- Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes
into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't
understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all
semester long! What's the deal? And who in the
world are you? Where's the regular guy?" - Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with
the volume at max level. - On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new,
interesting way to refuse to answer every question.
For example: I refuse to answer this question on the
grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be
creative. - Bring pets.
- Run into the exam room looking about frantically.
Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say
"They've found me, I have to leave the country" and
run off. - Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the
papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air
and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring,
ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the
first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes. - Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent
markers. - Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a
towel on your head, and nothing else. - Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome
during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. - Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't
know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try
using Roman numerals. - Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's
not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. - As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
- Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are
going to be taping your next video during the exam.
Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be
persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage
of the profits if they are allowed to stay. - Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things,
move to another seat, continue with the exam. - Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As
you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was. - Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and
true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out
interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..). - Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all
questions and answers completely blacked out. - Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your
papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and
walk out triumphantly. - Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e.
Threaten the instructor that whether or not
everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour
to go drink) - Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk
means at some point during the exam, you should
start crying for mommy). - Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the
instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory
tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head
when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" - Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that
day. - Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about
30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm
here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you
away. - Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about,
where you know the class is very small, and the
instructor would recognize you if you belonged.
Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for
your right to take the exam. - Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing
loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my
time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!" - Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
- From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to
Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to
stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or
another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on
the River Kwai. - Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
- If the exam is math/science related, make up the
longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi
and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a
written exam, relate everything to your own life story. - Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with
sword and shield. - Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire
way through the exam. Insist this person is needed,
because you have bad circulation. - Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make
sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus
exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're
getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam,
with the comment "Please use the attached notes for
references as you see fit." - When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
- After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point
to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out
of him/her. - One word: Wrestlemania.
- Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them
around like they do before concerts start. - Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
- Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the
room. - Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right
next to you. Act like you to it often. Consider a small
sacrifice. - Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams,
etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the
exam. - During the exam, take apart everything around you.
Desks, chairs, anything you can reach. - Complete the exam with everything you write being
backwards at a 90 degree angle. - Bring a musical instrument with you, play various
tunes. - Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why
Professor xxxx Sucks"
