- Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
- If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
- Help wanted - Telepath: you know where to apply
- I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- Keep honking, I'm reloading.
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
- Lord save me from your followers.
- I said "no" to drugs, but they just woudn't listen.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
- He/She who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll be choosing your nursing home.
- Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
