• Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car.  Tell them we don't want one.
• When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine.
• Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
• When I ask, 'How many guys have you slept with?' It would be much appreciated if you did not answer honestly.
• If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?
• The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.
• When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying "Oh, this is our exit, Honey" is not really necessary.