In the supermarket was a man was pushing a cart that
contained a screaming, bellowing baby.

The gentleman
kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert.
Don't scream, Albert. Don't yell, Albert.
Keep calm, Albert."

A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to
be commended for trying to soothe your little son Albert."

The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."