1. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people
   can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane
   waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the
   orange construction barrels.
2. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Detroit driver never
   uses them.
3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and
   the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else
   putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
4. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered "going
   with the flow".
5. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you
   have of getting hit.
6. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
7. Michigan is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have
   anything to lose.
8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
   ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
   pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your
   legs.
9. Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you
   pass the last exit before the traffic begins to back up.
10. The new electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to
    provide useful information. They are only there to make Detroit look
    high-tech and to distract you from seeing the Troy police car parked in
    the median.
11. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way
    to scare people entering the highway.
12. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are
    apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.
13. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
    move over doesn't mean that a Detroit driver flashing his high beams
    behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
14. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
    rush-hour traffic in Detroit.
15. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
    someone changing a tire.
16. Throwing litter on the roads adds variety to the landscape keeps the
    existing litter from getting lonely and gives Adopt-a-highway crews
    something to clean up.
17. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially pickup
    truck drivers with stickers of Calvin peeing on a Ford, Dodge or Chevy
    logo.
18. Learn to swerve abruptly. Detroit is the home of high-speed slalom
    driving thanks to MDOT, which puts potholes in key locations to test
    drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
19. It is traditional in Detroit to honk your horn at cars that don't move
    the instant the light changes.
20. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.
21. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left
    before proceeding.
22. Remember that the goal of every Detroit driver is to get there first,
    whatever means necessary.
23. Heavy snow, ice, fogs, and rain are no reasons to change any of the
    previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way of
    ensuring a natural selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new
    vehicle sales.

After all, this is the "motor city" and we do have our priorities.