This list of bloopers is reported to be actual headlines and ads from various papers.

• 1 MAN, 7WOMEN HOT TUB--$850/OFFER
• AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.
• SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
• FREE PUPPIES...PART GERMAN SHEPERD. PART DOG.
• 2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-FINGER, 1 3-FINGER, PAIR:$15.
• COWS, CALVES, NEVER BRED...ALSO 1GAY BULL FOR SALE.
• '83 HUNCHBACK --$2000
• STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT--$15
• FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL-1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR DOG.
• FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.
• GERMAN SHEPERD. 85 LBS. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
• FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YEAR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT SMELL.
• NORDIC TRACK $300-HARDLY USED-CALL CHUBBIE.
• FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG...LOOKS LIKE A RAT...BEEN OUT A WHILE...BETTER BE REWARD!
• GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING PORT A POTTIE- HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER
• HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB.
• GEORGIA PEACHES-CALIFORNIA GROWN-89 CENTS LB.
• NICE PARACHUTE - NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE - SLIGHTLY STAINED.
• FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.
• TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7-$9 PER HOUR
• NOTICE TO PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDG  STORAGE. PLEASE RETURN THE PUMKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD.
• EXERCISE EQUIPMANT: QUEEN SIZE MATRESS & BOX SPRING - $175
• OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB - AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
• JOINING NUDIST COLONY, MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER - $300
• LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY!
• ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
• GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL!
• BAR S SLICED BOLOGNA - REGULAR OR TASTY -SAVE 30 CENT ON 2
• OPEN HOUSE - BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON - FREE COFFEE AND DONUTS