- Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss. You will all be measured
on this at some point in your career. - Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. This one will
be particularly valuable to those of you who have projects going right
now. - Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
shits all over everything then leaves. Another word for consultant. - Salmon Day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to die in the end. We've had these before (and will
again). - Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee headcount, leaving the brass with clean hands. Nope, we do
our own dirty work. - CLM: Short lingo for 'career limiting move'. Used among
microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while
she is within earshot is a serious CLM. (Related to CLB, career
limiting behavior) - Adminisphere: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere
are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they
were designed to solve. - Dilberted: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss (not me!).
Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip
character. "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs
for the fourth time this week." - Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of
planning to leave the company or department soon. - 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404 Not found", meaning that the requested document could not
be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man." - Ohnosecond: That miniscule fraction of time it takes to realize
that you've just made a BIG mistake. (See number 6.) - Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of
an electronic device to get it working again.
