• Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
• Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
• Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
• Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not
  transparent.
• Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
• Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
• Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
• Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.
• Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
• Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
• Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt
  fall in and trap thyself.
• Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
• Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.
• Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at
  any opportunity.
• Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
• Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy
  house.
• Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not
  meat.
• Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.