Here Is a Compilation Of Some NEW Church Bulletin Bloopers:

• Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine.
  Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
• Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference.
  "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals".
• Today the pastor will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy"
• Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
• "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.
  It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
  Don't forget your husbands".
• Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'.
  Bring your own hot dogs and guns.
  Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
• Smile at someone who is hard to love.
  Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
• The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
  The sermon this morning: "Jesus walks on the water'.
  The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'.
• Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
  They need all the help they can get.
• Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
  She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are afflicted with any church.
• The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
• Remember in prayer those who are sick of our church and community.
• Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.
  The pastor will then speak on "It's a terrible experience".