There's this man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets invited to a
fancy costume party.

He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his
head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain the
problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please
find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your
bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate."

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasised his
wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.

A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says
"Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit. The
long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will
really look the part."

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing
his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a
REALLY rude letter of complaint.

A few days later, he receives a small parcel and a note which reads,
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a jar of caramel. Pour the jar of
caramel over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as
a candied apple!"