Just after I got married, I was invited out for a night with 'the boys.'

I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ... promise!

Well, the
yarns were being spun and the drinks were going down easy and at around 3
am drunk as a skunk, I went home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock started and cuckooed three
times.

Quickly I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another
nine times.

I was really proud of myself, having the quick wits, even when
smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

Next morning my wife asked me what time I got in and I told her
"midnight."

Phew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock.

When I asked her why
she said: "Well it cuckooed three times, cursed, cuckooed another four
times, farted, cuckooed another three times, cleared its throat and
cuckooed twice, then giggled!"