My Journal of 2012 

• January: Had to take my Christmas scarf back to store -- it was way too tight!
• February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
  I really tried, but those bottles wouldn't fit in the typewriter!
• March: Exciting success! I finished the jigsaw puzzle I got for Christmas after only two-and-a-half months -- even the box said "2-4 years"!
• April: Missed the deadline for filing income tax due to being trapped on escalator for several hours on my way to the post office (the power went out!)
• May: Tried to make Kool-Aid, but the instructions were wrong -- 8 cups of water simply do not fit into those little packets!
• June: Tried to go water skiing, but I couldn't find a lake with a slope.
• July: Lost breast-stroke swimming competition.
  Learned later the other swimmers cheated: they used their arms!
• August: Got locked out of my car in huge rain storm.
  Car interior ruined because convertible top was down.
• September: Missed getting on "Jeopardy" because I missed the first test question.
  I was sure the capital of California is "C"!
• October: Realized I hate M&M's -- they are too hard to peel.
• November: Thanksgiving turkey ruined, even though I followed the directions perfectly (instructions said 1 hour per pound, and I weigh 118.
  I know you have to prepare big dinners in advance, but 5 days is ridiculous!)
• December: Fell off step stool while decorating Christmas tree, but couldn't call 911 -- there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!
• All in all, 2012 was a terrible year.
  I sure hope 2013 is better.