Who was the dumb engineer that decided to place the
bathroom exhaust fan directly above my toilet?

Venting the nasty odors outside is a great idea, but...
Do they really have to drag them up past my nose first?

Of course not! But your Uncle Dogbyte has a quick and
easy solution for you. Just do what I did:

First, open the window (or if you don't have a window,
then knock some holes in the wall*).

Then, swap the red and green wires on your exhaust fan
so that the fan blows air INTO the room instead of sucking
air OUT of the room.

Voila! Problem solved!

Your most fragrant ass odors will now glide AWAY from
your nose and directly out of the room!

* If you have a windowless bathroom and concrete walls,
this method may be ineffective, but you can still
resort to the old-fashioned baking soda method:
Approx. 1/2 hour before each bowel movement, remove
the top flap from a box of baking soda, and place the
open box up your ass