Two little boys, both aged nine, were set to appear in their first play.

The first boy had to say, "Ha fair maiden, I've come to snatch a kiss
and fill your soul with hope."

The second little boy was to say, "Hark,
a pistol shot."

On opening night, the two boys were very nervous.

It was their
first time on stage and their parents were in the front row.

The first
little boy came out and said, "Ha fair maiden, I've come to kiss your
snatch and fill your hole with soap."

The second little boy was so shook after the first kid goofed up,
when he came out he said, "Hark! A pistol shit! A shishtel pit! Cow
shit!! Bull shit!! I didn't want to be in your damned play anyway!"