No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a young
kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites:

• Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
• We three kings of porridge and tar
• On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
• Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
• He's makin' a list, chicken and rice.
• Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
• With the jelly toast proclaim
• Olive, the other reindeer.
• Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
• Sleep in heavenly peas
• In the meadow we can build a snowman,
  Then pretend that he is sparse and brown
• You'll go down in listerine
• Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
• O come, froggy faithful
• You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require"
• Good tidings we bring to you and your kid
• Gloria. . . . in a raunchy stable.
• "While shepherds washed their socks at night"