• Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom: No matter how great your
  triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately one-billion
  Chinese couldn't care less.
• 668: The Neighbor of the Beast
• Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
• "Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize
  a mistake when you make it again." - F.P. Jones
• "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to
  learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their
  apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas Adams, "Last Chance
  to See"
• "As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not
  important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying
  me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so."
• "When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an
  atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but
  is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants
  in whom you don't believe?"'
• "Boundary, n.: In political geography, an imaginary line
  between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one
  from the imaginary rights of another."
• "I think that all right-thinking people in this country are
  sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are
  fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly
  not! But I'm sick and tired of being told that I am!"
• "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your
  house."
• Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
• "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make
  violent revolution inevitable."
• "Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a
  meaning of which I disapprove."
• "My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am
  right."
• Her kisses left something to be desired - the rest of her.
• Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
• Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less
  confusing that way.
• "Based on what you know about him in history books, what do
  you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
  1
  . Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
  2. Advising the President.
  3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin."
• Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I
  predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some
  vile disease." Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir,
  upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."