• In primitive society, when native tribes
  beat the ground with clubs and yelled,
  it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized
  society, it is called golf.
• The man who takes up golf to get his
  mind off his work soon takes up work
  to get his mind off golf.
• Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now
  it has millions of poor players!
• Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
• The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard,
  straight and not too often.
• There are three ways to improve your golf
  game: take lessons, practice constantly --
  or start cheating.
• Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy
  because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.
• Golf is a game in which the slowest people
  in the world are those in front of you, and the
  fastest are those behind.
• Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with
  disappointments.
• There's no game like golf: you go out with
  three friends, play eighteen holes, and
  return with three enemies.
• Golf got its name because all of the other
  four letter words were taken.