Patrick Kelly goes to the confessional and says, "Forgive me Father,
for I have sinned."

"What is your sin, my child?" The Priest asks.

"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language today and
I feel so terrible."

"Why don't you tell me what happened. What made you use such awful
language?" asked the Priest.

"Well, I was out golfing and I hit this incredible drive that looked
like it was going to go over 250 yards, but the ball hit a phone
line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the
ground after going about 100 yards."

"Is this when you swore?" asked the Priest.

"No Father," said the man, "You see, after that a squirrel ran out of
the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."

"And this is when you swore?" asked the Father again.

"No, not yet. Just as the squirrel was running away, this eagle came
down out of the sky and grabbed the squirrel in his talons and
began to fly away!"

"And it was then that you swore?" asked the amazed Priest.

"No, not yet," replied the man, "just as the eagle was flying away with
the squirrel, he flew towards a wooded area next to the green. And as
he passed over it,the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear then, my son?" asked the now impatient Priest.

"No, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some
bushes, careened off a big rock, and then rolled through a sand trap,
onto the green, and stopped dead 13 inches from the hole!"

The priest sighed and rolled his eyes, "Oh my God, you missed the
fucking putt, didn't you?"