- "My dog ate my car keys."
- "My migraine headache is really bad. I should probably sit in a cool, dark movie theater for a while."
- "My son dropped the car keys in the toilet and I sent him in after them. Now I'm waiting for the plumber."
- "I have to buy some new skis. I left my old ones in a tree."
- "My computer is down. I'm trying to cheer it up."
- "If I came to work today all I'd think about is the beach and a cold beverage and distracted employees aren't productive and just cost the company money. So it's better all around if I stay home today."
- "I have a sick kid. The adult goats, however, seem to be doing fine."
- "I'm having car trouble. The trouble is I don't own a car."
- "Calling in sick today, boss. I guess aspirin doesn't work on Spring Fever."
- "I won a sauerkraut and sausage eating contest yesterday. You don't want me there today. Trust me."
- "I'll need a couple of days funeral leave. There's been a death in the family. Someone moved my fern too close to the heating duct."
- "I'll be putting my eight hours in ... just not consecutively."
- "I have to see the doctor today. Apparently there's still a piece of brain left in my head."
