A man walks into a bar (yeah, yeah, yeah, I know...) and, with the most
sorry look on his face, pleads to the barman, "Look, my wife has left me,
I've been fired, I`ve just been mugged and lost all the money I had. I'm
desperate for a drink. Can you help me out??"

"Of course," said the bartender, "The door's behind you. Do you want to
be pushed or carried?"