• When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him, because, really... what's the point?
• Never argue with a women when she's tired or rested.
• Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
• Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
• You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and wear a lab coat.
• If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it..
• When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
• If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
• The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
• In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.