Its Soooooooo Big! - Dave's Jokes

There are many ways to describe just how well endowed you are, for example...

My dick is so big, you can't blow me without a ladder.
My dick is so big, it only does one show a night.
My dick is so big, you can ski down it.
My dick is so big, it has elbows.
My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.
My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.
My dick is so big, that right now it's in the other room fixing us drinks.
My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome.
My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty
My dick is so big, it's against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.
My dick is so big, I could fuck a tuba.
My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has
a theory about it.
My dick is so big, it has its own
gravity NASA once launched
a space probe to search for the tip
of my dick.
My dick is so big, it's impossible to see all of it without a satellite. The inside of my dick contains billions and billions of stars.
My dick is so big, it has a spine.
My dick is so big, it has a basement.
My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.
My dick is more muscular than I am.
My dick is so big it has cable.
My dick is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.
My dick is so big, it has its own page in the Sierra Club calendar.
My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.
My dick is so big, I was once in Ohio and got a blow job in Tennessee.
My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.
My dick is so big, I can braid it.
My dick is so big, that when it's Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it's Central Mountain Time at my balls.
My dick is so big, I painted the foreskin red, white, and blue and used it as a flag.
My dick is so big, I can sit on it.
My dick is so big, it can chew gum.
My dick is so big, it only tips with hundreds.
My dick is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.
My dick is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.
My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.
My dick is so big, when I get hard my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck.
My dick is so big, you're standing on it.
My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.
My dick is so big, it plays golf with
the president.
My dick is so big, it has an agent.
My dick's people will call your people.
Let's have lunch with my dick.
My dick is so big, its a tight fit when I'm bangin' your loose momma!
My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime
My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in I had to stand and argue with the doorman
My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr Dick in front of company
My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls
My dick is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school
My dick has an elevator and a lobby
My dick has better credit than I do
My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum
My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup.
It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick
My dick is so big, it has casters
My dick is so big, I'm already fucking a girl tomorrow
My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor
My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick
My dick is so big, it lives next door
My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third
My dick is so big, it votes
My dick is a better dresser than I am
My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal
My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures
My dick is so big, Henry Aaron used it to hit his 750th home run
My dick is so big No matter where I go, my dick always gets there first
My dick takes longer lunches than I do
My dick contributed fifty thousand dollars to the Democratic National Committee
My dick was once the ambassador to China
My dick is so big, it's gone condo
My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off
My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler
My dick is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it
My dick is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I wasn't so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself
My dick is so big, I have to use an elastic zipper
My dick is so big, it has feet
My dick is so big, it has investors
My dick is so big, it seats six
My dick is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring
My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole
My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake
My dick is so big, it has an opening act
My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft If you cut my dick in two, you can tell how old I am
My dick is so big, Trump owns it
My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through
My dick is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings
My dick is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse
My dick is so big that we're all a part of it, and it's all a part of us
My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row
My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box
My dick is so big, it's right behind you....