-
When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if
it's really dead. - Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
- As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
- If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they
should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than
their own, Don't walk, RUN from the house immediately and don't stop until
you are in the next county. - If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that
it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life. - If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take
the hint and stay away. - Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know
what you're doing. - If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least
twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite
the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along,
it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. - If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior
such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing
hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible. - Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed
here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if
you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. - Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge
trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches,
soldering irons, band saws. - If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby
deserted-looking house to phone for help.
