Old Charlie, a jolly old bloke,

Made love to a cow as a joke.

He found pleasure divine

With this friendly bovine.

Now they call him the old cowpoke!

 

There was a young actress from Crewe

Who remarked as the vicar withdrew

the Bishop was quicker

And thicker and slicker

And two inches longer than you.

 

There was a young lady called Dot

who dined upon Pigshit and Snot

when she couldn't get these

she ate the green cheese

that she scraped from the sides of her twot!.

 

There was a young girl, quite slim

who had an enormous great quim

though it wasn't the size that attracted the flies

but the hum of the scum on the rim.

 

There once was a man from Brighton

Who said to his girl "You're a tight one!"

She said "Pon my soul,

You're in the wrong hole!,

There’s plenty of room in the right one!"