There once was a queen of Bulgaria
Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier,
Till a prince from Peru
Who came up for a screw
Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to the heater
Every time it turned around
It burnt it's little peter.

There once was a man named Sinclair
Who was fucking his wife on the stairs
The bannister broke
He tripled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air!

There once was a lady from Wheeling
Who had a peculiar feeling
She turned on her back
Tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling!

There once was a guy named Herby
who 's girl wore a bowtie and derby
Like it or not,
She had a clean shaven twat
I guess there's no furby for Herby

There was a young fellow named Tucker,
Who, instructing a novice cock-sucker.
Said, "Don't bow out your lips,
Like an elephant's hips;
The boys like it best when you pucker."

The bishop of Winchester Junction
Found his phallus would no longer function.
So in black crepe he wound it,
Tied a lily around it,
And solemnly gave it last unction.

There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung by her heels in the doorway.
She said to her beau,
"Hey, look at me, Joe,
I think I've discovered one more way."

There was a young girl from Odessa,
A rather unblushing transgressor.
When sent to the priest
The lewd little beast
Began to undress her confessor.

There was a young lady from Exeter
So pretty the men strained their necks at her
But one was so brave
To pull out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.

There once was a man from Van Isle
Who said jogging just wasn't his style.
"I'll get my workouts," he said,
"At home, in my bed,
'Cause a Miss is as good as a mile!"

There was a young fellow named Gary,
Who was elated when he got a cherry,
The cherry said she,
He got from a tree,
She wondered what made him so merry!

There was a young girl from the valley,
Who went by the name of Sweet Sally,
She was very nice,
And she got her price,
But she did it all from the alley!