There once was a woman, Monique,   

Who proclaimed an efficient technique:       

"One fuck daily's just right."   

She did seven one night,   

And then found that it made her hole weak. 

There once was a poor man named Crocket

Whose balls got caught in a socket.

His wife was a bitch,

So she cranked on the switch,

And Crocket took off like a rocket!

There once was a woman from Latch,

Who jacked herself off with a match.

She got so excited,

The damn thing ignited,

And burnt all the hair off her snatch.