To truly love another, you must first love yourself.

And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.

"Some guys call theirs Dick or Peter, John Thomas or Willie.
What do you call yours?"

"I don't have to call mine anything, It usually comes without being called."

What do you call a magazine that features pictures of  orgasms?

Spurts Illustrated

The photographer brought his attractive assistant into the dark room tosee what would develop.

What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?

They both get loaded from the rear and go Woo-Whoo!

A useless message in my in-box trumpeted, "Satisfy the girls with a bigger dick!"

Hey, I wouldn't be caught dead with a girl with a dick, especially if it's bigger than mine.

I had a staff sergeant who'd pick fights with his recruits just so he could lick his privates.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing and gargling.