A man walked up to a little old lady rocking in a chair on her porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," he said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," she said.

"I also do a gram of charlie a day, a spliff every night, a case of whiskey a week, eat junk food, never exercise, and always do pills on the weekend."

That's amazing," said the man, "how old are you?'

"Twenty-four."