NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will
each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them
will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want
change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, comb,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's
bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change
and she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the
mail.

A man will (may) dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in
the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no point
in two people remembering the same thing.