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SAYONARA, GENIUS
An Arlington, Texas man pulled a gun on a couple of armored car drivers and
made off with several bags of cash. The gunman didn't get far; he had parked
his getaway car next to a bus full of Japanese tourists. Fascinated by the
robbery, the tourists snapped numerous pictures of the crook and his car,
including several clear shots of the car's license plate. -
EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAYS?
Employees of a Kroger store in Athens, Alabama observed a customer stuffing
steaks down the front of his pants and chased him into the store's parking
lot. The man ran across the lot in a heavy downpour and jumped on a bicycle.
During his getaway, the man ran into a utility pole and knocked himself out.
As police arrived, the suspect regained consciousness and jumped into a
nearby creek. The swift currents from the heavy rain were too much for the
man, who had to be rescued from the creek by the fire department. -
IF YOU'RE GONNA ACT LIKE ONE, YOU MIGHT AS WELL DRESS LIKE ONE
A homeless man went into a Circle K convenience store in St. Petersburg,
Florida to rob the place, but didn't have a mask. So he grabbed a
transparent
garbage bag and threw it over his head. One investigator said "it looked
like
a big propylactic hanging down to his waist. We got some very nice video
from
the store's security camera." The thief was arrested two days later while
breaking into a house, and has been charged with robbery, attempted
burglary,
and trying to escape. -
SHOULDA SEEN THIS ONE COMING
Two thieves who broke into a house in Oklahoma were caught red-handed by the
resident of the home -- an Oklahoma state trooper. These were apparently not
the most observant burglars in the history of crime: they had walked through
the trooper's garage -- right past his marked patrol car -- on the way into
the house. -
DUMMIES GRAB DUMMIES
Two thieves did a smash-and-grab robbery of a display window at a cellular
telephone store in Winston-Salem, NC. The next morning, the store manager
noticed the damage when he opened for business and filed a report with the
police. When investigators asked for the estimated value of the phones the
manager said, "About $10. They were dummy models made out of solid plastic." -
HEY -- WHAT IS THIS CRAP? OH...IT'S CRAP!
Three teenagers who grabbed a package from a woman's car in Des Moines, Iowa
recently were in for an unpleasant surprise: the package contained droppings
from the woman's dog. The victim said she had been walking her Cairn terrier
"Tippy" and had used the bag to pick up after him. She said when she
finished, she wrapped the 4-by-5-inch package and set it down on her car
trunk. That's when the three teenagers rushed by. One grabbed the bundle and
yelled "Thank you." The victim said she looked up, saw the trio racing away,
and replied, "You're welcome." She told police,"I just wish I could have
seen
their faces when they opened it up." -
BANK CUSTOMER GETS P***ED
A man in Neilsville, Wisconsin was sentenced to 20 days in jail for
urinating
on an automatic teller machine when he couldn't get any money out of it. The
man apparently became upset after the ATM wouldn't give him any money
because
his accounts were empty. The bank's security camera recorded the suspect
dropping his pants and taking a whiz on the machine, causing it to short
circuit. He pleaded no contest to the charges of disorderly conduct,
indecent
exposure, and criminal damage to property. In addition to the jail time, the
man will pay 85-hundred dollars in damages, and is not allowed to have an
ATM
card during his 3 years probation. -
UM...COULD YOU FOLKS EXCUSE ME JUST A MOMENT?
A Columbus, Ohio police officer who was instructing bank employees on what
to
do during a robbery was interrupted by...a bank robbery. The suspect entered
the bank and handed a teller a note demanding cash. He had somehow missed
the
uniformed police officer standing at a nearby teller window. The officer
interrupted his class and tackled the robber after a short foot chase. The
suspect has been linked to 43 other robberies. -
MAKES THAT "IN THE BUTT, BOB" GUY LOOK LIKE A GENIUS
In a recent interview in the Los Angeles Times, Newlywed Game host Bob
Eubanks recalled one of his most memorable moments on the show. Eubanks
asked
one female contestant to remember something her husband had told her not the
talk about. "She said her husband and her cousin were going to kill her
uncle
for the insurance money," Eubanks said. "I was even more shocked when her
husband came back and matched her answer." -
WHAT'S UP, G?
Police in Miami are calling them "the G-String Gang." Residents of suburban
apartment complexes have reported 30 flasher incidents in recent weeks. The
men all wear black g-strings, bandanas, and goatees or moustaches. The
suspects reportedly approach residents and ask if they are allowed to wear a
g-string in the apartment pool, then pull down their skimpy attire and flash
their victims. Cops say the gang is a group of six men, who always wear the
same outfit and share information about favorite targets. Says one
investigator: "They want us to think it's only one person so we'll make one
arrest and put our guard down so the other guys can keep doing it. I dunno
if
it's the season or what. They're just coming out of the woodwork." -
THE YOSEMITE SAM HANDYMAN AWARD
A man in Little Rock, Arkansas started a fire that destroyed a mobile home
and injured the home's owner. The blaze started when the man used a
cigarette
lighter to look inside a gasoline can to determine whether there was water
inside. -
AYE CARUMBA!
A Mexican man arrived at an airport in Oakland, California carrying a faked
American ID. What he apparently didn't know: the man he was impersonating
was
a fugitive wanted on burglary and concealed weapons charges. One customs
official called it "kind of a loser thing to do." -
SHE HAD A FRIEND WHO DIED OF THE MELISSA VIRUS
A Hong Kong woman forked out over $15,000 to buy stomach pills after com men
told her the pills could cure the millennium bug. The woman, who apparently
did not know the millennium bug is a computer problem and not a physical
ailment, handed over the money after the conmen convinced her she could make
big profits by reselling them. -
AND FINALLY...
A New Jersey state employee resigned recently after being arrested for
driving while intoxicated. John Holli, a 16-year veteran of the state's
Department of Law and Pulbic Safety, lost his job as the director of the New
Jersey Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control.
