A
tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the
guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen in his life.

The
tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the nuts, and asks, "Ess-tues me
ser?"

"Yes
sir." Replied the clerk.

"Tould
you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?"

"Pistachio's? They're six dollars a pound." The clerk replied.

"SSit!"
The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing, and then asks "Welp, how mutsh arr
your aahhmons?"

"Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound." The clerk replied.

"SSIT!
tas pensive." Replied the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout your pikanns?"

"Pecans? They're on sale today, they're only four fifty a pound."  The clerk
replied.

"Welp,
Ssit. Just div me a poulnd of dose dhen." Said the man.

"All
right then," says the clerk, and begins bagging up a pound of pecans.

Then, the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Sirr, I just wana tay tank you fo
not maken phun of de way I talk, cauz I tan't hep it."

The
clerk replies with a smile. "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I
don't make fun of anybody, for any thing! I don't know if you noticed, or not,
but I have a rather large nose."

The
guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your penis since your nutz
arr so damn high!"