-
If deer could fire back, there would be a lot fewer humans
hunting deer. - You know how limited your circle of friends has become
when your first birthday card comes from your insurance agent. - Why do people try to complicate everything? Why do they
say terminate instead of stop or articulate instead of talk? - I asked my husband to take me to an exciting, new place,
and he led me into the kitchen. - Talk about terrible dilemmas. Pity the poor Jewish Mother
whose son was gay and dating a doctor.
- - - - - -
I knew a fellow at work who was the most jealous man I've ever
seen. His wife gave birth to twins, and he swore that only one
of them looked like him.
- - - - - -
Did you hear about the General who retired and got a job with
the Panasonic printer company. He quit rather quickly when he
discovered they had more ribbons than he did.
- - - - - -
The Maryland State Highway often conducts interviews for a
promotion using a panel. Once during such an interview one of
the panelists said to me, "Mr Moore, I see you're 35. If you
are given this promotion to Assistant District Engineer, what
would you expect to be in five years."
"Forty." I replied.
- - - - - -
Speaking of State Highway (I was), a co-worker, Jim Keseling,
was a big bug on physical fitness. He was always on my case
about my smoking. In the middle of one of his "lectures" I
asked him if he smoked and he replied, "Certainly not."
I paused and looked at his pot belly, the wrinkles on his
face, and then his bald head and said, "I think I'll keep on
smoking for the time being."
