Overheard in church, a lady praying:

"Dear Lord," she said, "This has been a tough two or three years. You have taken my favourite actor Richard Attenborough, my favourite pop singer Michael Jackson, my favourite Blues singer Amy Winehouse, my favourite football manager Bobby Robson, my favourite golfer Seve Ballesteros, my favourite singer Whitney Houston, and my favourite comedienne Joan Rivers".

"I just wanted you to know that my favourite politicians are: Alec Salmond,  Nicola Sturgeon, Tony Blair,  David Cameron, George Osborne, Ed Balls, Harriet Harman, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband (in no particular order). Amen."