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Always take the time to smell the roses...and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
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If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek...nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
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If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.
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It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it.
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It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked up into jet engines.
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I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us ended up dying of tuberculosis.
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It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
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When I'm feeling down I like to whistle...it makes my neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
