A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking.

He stays
until the bar closes at 2am at which time he is extremely drunk.

When he
enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone up so he takes off his
shoes and starts to tip toe up the stairs.

Halfway up the stairs, he falls
over backwards and lands flat on his rear end.

That wouldn't have been so bad except that he had a couple of
empty pint bottle in his backpockets that broke and the broken glass
carved up his rear end terribly.

But, he was so drunk that he didn't
know he was hurt.

A few minutes later as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he
checked himself out in the mirror and sure enough, his behind was cut up
something terrible.

He repaired the damage as best he could under the
circumstances and went to bed.

The next morning, his head was hurting, his
rear was hurting and he was hunkering under the covers, trying to think of
a good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.

"Well, you really tied one on last night, " she said, "where did you go?"

"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."

"A
couple of beers? That's a laugh. You were plastered last night, so where did you go?" she
inquired.

"What makes you so sure that I got drunk last night anyway?"

"Well, she replied, "My first big clue was when I got up this morning
and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror!"