Saturday morning: Barry and his wife have been sleeping soundly all night.

A small alarm by his side of the bed sounds a wake-up trill and he shuts it off immediately.

He then pushes the sheet back carefully so as not to disturb his wife.

Then, he showers, shaves, and combs and brushes his hair.

As he's tiptoeing to the closet to select his golf clothes, his wife stirs and wakens.

"And, just what do you think you're doing?"
she asks.

"Um," he answers, "just getting dressed to meet the guys at the club for a big round of golf this morning, hon."

"No way! You know we have far too many things to do around the house today," she barked back at him.

"I know, I know," he replies. "We're going to tee off at 8, play 18 holes, probably have one or two drinks together in the bar, then I'll jump in the car and head straight home around 12:45. Even if I'm delayed for some odd reason, I swear that I'll be back here no later than 1 o'clock."

His wife shrugs her best shrug and says, "O.K., but you'd better be back at or before 1! Do NOT! DO NOT play 36 holes, as you often do!"

SOOO, Barry is relieved. He grabs his cap and clubs and heads out the door.

Just as planned, he and three buddies meet at the club, attach their bags to the carts and then drive off toward the first tee.

To everyone's credit, all four guys played very, very well the whole round.

During a couple of drinks each in the club's bar, they rehashed the round, hole by hole.

Remembering his promise to his wife, Barry looked
at the clock behind the bar ... "12:45" it read.

So up he jumps, and with spirited words of goodbye to his friends, he rushes to his car, throws his clubs into the back seat, and zooms off - homeward bound.

"I can get there in 3 minutes," he said to himself.

By the side of the curb about 8 blocks from the club, he sees a beautiful red-haired woman standing at the rear of her car, and he immediately notices that her left-rear tire is quite flat.

"I can change that tire for her in a jiffy," he thinks, "and make it home perhaps five minutes later than promised."

So, always the gentleman his mother had taught him to be, he stopped behind her car, got out, introduced himself, then pulled his own tire tools out of his trunk.

He then put on the spare and tightened the last lug nut, finishing the job at precisely 1 p.m.

"I can still make it home by 1:05," he thought.

However! Slow down there, big fella! This story isn't nearly over.

The redhead walks toward him to thank him over and over for his help.

"I live just around the corner here,"
she then half whispers to him. "I want to thank you by buying you a drink at my house. Please follow me!
Please!"

Barry mulled her proposition for a whole second, then agreed.

After parking in her driveway, she leads him inside to her den, where she sits in the middle of the couch and pats the cushion next to her.

He sits, pushover that he is.

She then mixes two drinks for them; hers goes to the coffee table, his into his hand.

They each take a single sip, She then tells him to relax while she does a few things to make them more comfortable - she closes the blinds and drapes, turns on the CD player, and then drifts out of sight with "I'm going to find more comfortable clothes" dripping from her lips.

She wasn't gone three minutes when she returned in all of her glory ... that's ALL of her glory! And, she was a TRUE redhead!

To finally end this tale, let it be understood that they made mad, passionate love for three solid hours.

THEN came "OH, MY GOD!" says Barry. It's 4 o'clock!
I promised my wife that I'd be home by 1 to do yard work.
I'm leaving, beautiful lady...leaving now!"

So, up he jumps, to the door and to his car he runs, climbs in and races home....there to see his wife standing in the driveway to greet him!

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" she bellowed. "It's 5 minutes after 4! You promised to be home by 1! I want ANSWERS!!!!"

"Ok, dear," he said. "Here's what happened, so help me God. I met the guys at the course; we played 18 holes; then we had a couple of drinks in the bar. I said goodbye to them at 12:45 and jumped in the car. A few blocks from the club, I saw a woman with a flat tire, so I stopped to change it for her. She was so greatful, she invited me to her house, which was just around the corner, so that she could fix a drink for me. I followed her there. We sat on the couch with our drinks, then she stood and walked around to close the drapes and turn on the CD player. That done, she said she wanted to put on more comfortable clothes. When she returned, she was hardly wearing anything. What could I do? So we made love on her couch for nearly three hours!! I finally came to my senses, put my clothes back on and almost flew home to apologize for being three hours late. I'm sorry, honey! I'M REALLY SORRY!"

His wife said back to him when he'd finished his speech: "You lying son of a bitch! YOU PLAYED 36 HOLES!"