Q. What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?

A. It never eats.

Q. How can you tell the President in two letters, that you dislike him?

A. Write to him twice.

Q. How do you make a bandstand?

A. Take away their seats.

Q. What did the cannibal say when he came upon a sleeping missionary.

A. Ah! Breakfast in bed!

Q. What is broken every time you say its name?

A. Silence.

Q. What do you get when you steal a calendar?

A. Thirty days.

Q. Did you hear about the new viagra candy bar?

A. Oh, Oh, Oh my God, Henry!

Q. Did you hear about the guy who opened a dry-cleaning business next door to the convent?

A. He knocked on the door and asked the Mother Superior if she had any dirty habits.

Q:  Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?

A: Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?

A: K9P.

Q. What do you call a blonde with pigtails?

A. A Blowjob with handles.

Q. How did Clinton met Monica Lewinsky?

A. Yeah, she was his caddy. Something about him losing a ball in a garden hose...

Q. How can you tell if a redneck is married?

A. There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

Q: There is a soccer match between Jamaica and Columbia. When does the match end?

A: After the Jamaicans smoked all the grass and the Columbians sniffed off all white lines.