What can LifeSavers do that men cannot?
Answer: Come in five flavors.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Answer: Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
Answer: If your girlfriend chews before swallowing.
What do you get when you get Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury DoughBoy
together?
Answer: A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
How do you piss off Winnie the Pooh?
Answer: By sticking your finger in his honey.
What is the ultimate rejection?
Answer: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
What did Bill Clinton say to Monica?
Answer: I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.
What does a pizza deliveryman and a gynecologist have in common?
Answer: Both can smell it but can't eat it.
What to you call a blonde with pigtails?
Answer: A blow job with handle bars.
What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?
Answer: All you can eat for under a buck.
What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole?
Answer: A 30ft. cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.
What to you call a virgin on a waterbed?
Answer: A cherry float.
Why do walruses got to Tupperware parties?
Answer: To find a tight seal.
What's the difference between sin and shame?
Answer: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
What's the speed limit of sex?
Answer: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
Answer: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
Why is air a lot like sex?
Answer: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What's another name for pickled bread?
Answer: Dill-dough.
Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
Answer: He heard the snow blower coming.
Why are Monica's Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy?
Answer: She's withholding evidence.
What's the difference between light and hard?
Answer: You can sleep with a light on.
Why is sex like a bridge game?
Answer: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
Answer: Their balls are just for decoration.