• What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
  Goes-in-tight!
• What's "68"?
  You do me and I owe you one.
• What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
  Gagged!
• What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
  A tearjerker.
• Have you heard about the new supersensitive condoms?
  They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman.
• Define "Egghead "
  What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
• What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
  Popeye almost killed him!
• Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
  Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
• How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
  Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
• KY Jelly has jumped on the Millennium bandwagon with the slogan for their new product:
  "Y2K-Y Jelly : when you want to put four digits where only two could fit before!"
• Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
  He did okay until his business fell off.
• What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?
  "How come?"
• Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
  Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.
• What's the definition of a teenager?
  God's punishment for enjoying sex.
• Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
  "They'll never see you coming."
• What's the definition of a vagina?
  The box a penis comes in.
• What two words will clear out a men's restroom?
  "Nice Dick!"
• What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
  Toys for Twats.
• What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
  S&M&M.
• What's the definition of eternity?
  The length of time between when YOU come and SHE leaves.
• Define Transvestite:
  A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!
• Mom's have Mother's Day, father's have
  Father's Day. What do single guys have?
  Palm Sunday.
• Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
  The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
• What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
  A scrotum pole!
• What's the ultimate in rejection?
  When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
• Why don't debutantes go to orgies?
  There'd be too many thank you notes to write.
• How can you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
  By sitting down before the last guy gets up.
• What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
  They are both used as substitutes for meat.
• What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
  Brothel sprouts.
• What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?
  Two Mennonite!
• Have you heard about the blind hooker?
  You've gotta hand it to her!
• What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
  The cold shoulder.
• How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
  His hand caught fire.
• Why is sex like a game of bridge?
  If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.
• What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
  They're both filled with stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other!
• Can you say three two-letter words that mean small?
  Is it in?
• What do you call a ninety-year-old man who can still masturbate?
  Miracle Whip.
• What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
  A bingo machine.
• What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth?
  Gladiator!
• How is a woman like a condom?
  Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.
• What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
  By the time you've finished with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
• Why do you get paid more at the Sperm Bank than at the Blood Bank?
  Sperm is handmade.
• What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
  Slow down and use a lubricant.
• If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear?
  A hole in it.
• What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
  Oral sex makes your whole day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
• Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
  He decided to stick it out for one more year!
• When does a cub become a boy scout?
  When he eats his first Brownie.
• What is a Yankee?
  The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
• What did the banana say to the vibrator?
  What are YOU shaking for? She's going to eat me!
• How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  One...men will screw anything.
• What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
  About three inches.
• What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting?
  Sticks it in Olive Oyl.
• What is the definition of wicker box?
  It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to JLo.