"Amusement parks are getting expensive. The other day, I was at one and
saw a sign that said, 'You must be this rich to ride.'"
- John Wagner
"Actually, the only memory I have of being a cub scout was trying to get
my hat back. That was all I did - run back and forth at my bus stop
going 'quit it.'" - Jerry Seinfeld
"In classical music, you never know what will happen next. Sometimes the
musicians stop completely in the middle of the song, thereby causing the
average Joe, who is hoping that the song is over, to start clapping,
whereupon the deceased audience members come back to life and give him
dirty looks, and he feels like a big dope. It would help if there were
an electronic basketball-style clock hanging from the conductor's back,
indicating how much time is left in the song."
- Dave Barry
Classic movie quote: "Gentlemen, there will be no fighting in here. This
is the War Room." - Stanley Kubrick's 'Dr. Strangelove'