A man came home and said to his wife, "Honey, I'm sure horny, how about a little bit tonight."

"No," she said, "I've got cold cream on my face and I'm afraid I might get it on the bed."

He said "ok" and went on to bed.

The next night he came in and said "Honey, I'm really horny tonight, how about a little bit?"

She said "no, I've got a mud pack on my face and I'm afraid I might mess up the bed."

He said "ok" and went on to sleep.

The next night he came home and said, "Honey, I'm really horny tonight, how about a little bit?"

She said "no, I took a laxative and I'm afraid I might shit on the bed."

He said "ok" and went on to sleep.

The next night he came home and said, "Honey, I'm really getting horny, how about a little bit tonight?"

She said "no, I'm on my period. I'm afraid I might get blood on the bed."

"OK" he said and went on to sleep.

The next night he came home with a big cowboy hat, jeans and spurs on.

His wife asked what the outfit was for.

He replied, "Cream, mud, shit, or blood, old Tex is gonna ride tonight"