As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. 

Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my baseball bat, thinking that could scare him off, and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit.

I came around the corner with the bat raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I thought I heard an intruder. I came down to scare him."

She looked my naked self up and down and mumbled, "You didn't need the bat."