Thursday night I gradually woke up stiff as a plank in hospital's ICU, tubes up my nose & down my throat, wires monitoring every function & all around my head, hell of a pain over my left ear, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over me.

It was obvious I'd been in a serious accident.

She looked deep & steady and I heard her slowly say, 'You may not feel anything from the waist down.'

I managed to mumble in reply, 'Can I feel your tits, then?'