• I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
• I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!
• This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.
• Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wetspot.
• Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.
• That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?
• I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby- sitter Tracy.
• You're my daddy! You're my daddy!
• The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
• Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? (Good one!)
• While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
• Bar food again!? Kick ass.
• Liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
• That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.
• I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
• I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's day gift!
• Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
• I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?
• It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
• Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of Chuck's bare ass!
• My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.
• I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.
• Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!
• You are so much smarter than my father.
• If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.