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You become a K-Y spokesperson.
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Having two tampons in at the same time doesn't bother you.
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You go through a Sealy Mattress every week.
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Frederick of Hollywood actually comes to your door himself.......just to see where 1/2 of his orders go.
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You have to go across the border for a Pap Smear.
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When they change your area code to 6969.
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Tetracycline is your best friend.
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McDonald's calls you "The Happy Meal".
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It takes 2 douches and a spatula at shower time.
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When you've got a "Take a Number" machine at your front door.
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When you get hemorrhoids on you shoulders.
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Your day starts and ends by rolling over.
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When the sperm bank calls for remnant samples.
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When you're wearing more latex than spandex.
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When your ceiling mirrors fog.
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When they install a revolving door at your apartment.
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When the Marine Corps does recruitment outside your door.
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Madonna comes to you for pointers.
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When he doesn't even have to buy you a soft drink.
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When you have a room key to every hotel in town.
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Motel 6 signals you in with runway lights.
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The only place you haven't had sex is on themoon.
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When a men's prison becomes a vacation "hot spot"
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When it only takes 2 licks to get to the center of a Blow Pop.
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When you and your cat have the same tongue consistency.
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When other women begin to call you "Man's Best Friend".
