These are true, I was a Sheriff and these are some of the excuses I heard.

I actually wrote very few, about 1-2 a week, but when they came up with really lame excuses, I just had to.

People who got the ticket;

• Guy on a motorcycle doing 110mph at 1 in the morning "I was cold so I wanted to get home fast"
• Old lady doing 88 in a 25 zone "I was checking to see if my muffler was leaking"
• Vietnamese woman doing 45 in a 25 school zone "No speaka english" After receiving the ticket "you son of a *&^%$, you wrote me a ticket!"

People who did not get a ticket;

• I paced a guy going 90 mph for about 5 miles. When I noticed he had a radar detector on his dash (Yes, that's how close I was and he didn't look in his rearview mirror once!) I reached over and activated my radar. I saw his detector light up and he hit his brakes so hard he skidded into the ditch! I was laughing so hard that I couldn't write him, but I did call for a tow truck. He was a little embarrassed
• Guy doing 70 in a 35 zone "I just won the lottery" He really did, but he was heartbroken when I explained that the lottery office was closed on Sundays!

But this guy was my favorite;

I caught a guy in a Porsche Cabriolet doing 125mph in a 65 zone.

I told him to explain why he was going so fast.

He showed me the purchase papers for the car and said "I've waited my whole life to own this car.

I bought it yesterday and have been driving it ever since.

It was 4 in the morning, no one else was around, and I just wanted to really open it up once, to see what it would do"

I handed him back his license and said "That makes perfect sense to me".