A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar
home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."

The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the
doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as
clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains,
"Well, doc, it's like this.

First I tried with my right
hand, but nothing.

Then I tried with my left hand, but
nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help.

She tried with
her right hand, but nothing.

Then her left, but
nothing.

She even tried with her mouth, first with the
teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing.

Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she
tried with both hands and her mouth too,but nothing."

The doctor was shocked, "You asked your NEIGHBOR?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried,
we couldn't get the damn jar open!"