The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of
working since a young boy.

He was trying to impress the
Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School.

The
Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir',
it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the
number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If
the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch."